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In 2017, my family was exposed to a loss. Paul's words of wisdom to us: "One of the most common things people say to those in the throes of grief is 'If there's anything I can do. just let me know'. This is such an empty offer though said with good intentions. People who are grieving are exhausted, don't know what they need and, in many cases, it is difficult to ask for help.
A better thing to say is "May I _________________________, and offer something specific that you can realistically do. i.e. "bring over dinner for you?" or "can I run to the grocery for you?", Would you like some company tomorrow?" etc. This allows the person to simply say "yes or no".
He also offered these two articles that he would share with his students studying grief and loss:
Paul had a really unique whistle through his front teeth. I first heard it when he'd whistle for Pookie. He did it around the house a lot while bustling about or cooking. I can picture his face in action.